A bit more happy news

Forget about all those happy stories on the news at 10...this octopus just fucking ATE the world's most venomous fish! Somebody give that octopus a medal! 

Happy News (Part 1)

Hello and welcome to my first blog post dedicated entirely to happy news! What with so much media attention being given to wars and terror attacks...one could easily conclude that this world is an awful foreboding place, and that humanity as we know it is doomed. At least, according to my news feed, that is exactly what this world we live in has been reduced to. I am here to offer you a small respite from all that...and share a little bit of the latest joyful news.

You can now buy a large house in Ireland for 10,000 euro

                                      

Yes, Republic of telly may have been slightly sarcastic when one man claimed he bought a house that was previously 1.5 million, for 875 euro. However, this three bedroom house, located in Kilrush Co. Clare, is solid proof that houses are going dirt cheap these days. It seems that moving down the country means that you can potentially pay for a house if you scrap your communion money, and that dough you made from mowing Mr. Old man's lawn together.

Britney Spears is finally happy again

I was born to make myself happy

Dye remember when Britney shaved off her entire head of hair in the middle of the night, only to considerably worsen the situation by beating a car up with her massive green umbrella? Unfortunate as it is that Britney's total mental breakdown shall forever be there for all and sundry to see, Britney has managed to somehow cobble her life back together again. Now, I'm not usually one to give two shits about rich celebrities...but let's face it, if Britney can reclaim herself after all that utter mortification...we all can. According to close sources she is once again a '...happy, smiling, fun-loving Britney'. Hooray for happy millionaires! Read the entire article here.

The Chillies are coming to Dublin

Otherside, Under the Bridge, Californication...need I go on? Doesn't it just remind us naughties teens of a more carefree time? Ahhhh the good old days when an auto tuned toilet didn't replace actual music. They will be coming to Dublin in December, and I may be 28 at that stage, but better late than never to get your tits out and become a pot bellied, saggy bummed groupie (I may bring my mother along). On the off chance that I don't manage to snog Anthony (or scare him away as I hurtle in his direction, bare swingers hitting my shoulders) I shall at the very least purchase a ticket...and forget all my woes, as I get my boogie on. I suggest you join me.

A kid who suffers with autism is credited for more than his exam results

                                                

It seems that the forces that be, are finally appreciating that there is more to intelligence than passing an exam. After Ben Twist, who suffers with autism, didn't get the exam results he was hoping for, his teacher wrote him a heartfelt letter expressing how he is intelligent in many more ways, and that his exam results are no measure of his intelligence...and that he has many more talents that cannot be measured by taking an exam.



If happy news is something you can get on board with, check out: http://www.sunnyskyz.com/good-news

My Poetry Part 1:

Temporary Fixes

Happy stories

Fables

Tales

Music

Sex

Love

Your phone

Cleaning

Cleanliness

Kissing

Hugs

Bonding

Oxytocin

Suicidal Thoughts

Manipulation

Information

Travel

Slaughter

Tears

Tattoos

Drugs

Poetry

Vandalism

Alcohol

Sleeping

Exercise

Friends

God

Faith

Spirituality

Confrontation

Yoga

Friends

Family

Resistence

The Cold Shoulder

Rationalisation

Complacency

Hope

Interior Decor

Reading

Happy Stories

Reading Sad Stories

'The Secret'

Relationships.

I won't tell you my problems

As that would be removing Daft Punk's helmets
Or cutting Sia's fringe.



.

Greed is all I have left.



Life is no fun

Without mystery.






categorized life

Dressmaking class
nutribullet
fedoras
prada
Gucci
vivienne westwood
makeup
mac
eyeshadows
shoes
botox
facials
clean the toilet
clean the sink
wax your gee
boobs job
vacation
vacay
vacation
hollier
lol 
roflol
 bae
omfg
oust 'removes odors'
lol 
funny 
hilarious
pictures
my job
my life
Beyonce speaks to me
Lemonade
black people
music
salt and pepper
art
Poetry
Spoken Word
#Family
Pride
Tiny Tempah
Mind games
The Lion King
Planking
Suicide
oust 'removes odors'
Drawing
art
creativity
shit.
total shit
I think I'm gay
I'm a gaylord
Stupid retard
SEX
SEX
SEX
hahahahahahahaha
distraction
he loves me
he loves me not
The Russians
Pretentious shit
It's all funny

Turn on the telly...

......Daniel's singing....

Things to do when you don't have a job

This is a topic I am more than knowledgeable in, so I think a  pre-emptive 'you're welcome' is in order

Start folding paper

                                   

That's right...start doing a lot of origami. Start off with a crane...and when your boredom has overwhelmed you that much...it's time to undertake the challenge of building a 4ft 3D origami dragon. You can doooo iiiit!

Write down everything you have to do and check it all off as you go along

                                     

One thing I like to do when I wake up and the stark realisation that I have nothing to do all day hits me...is over plan every aspect of my life. I will write out every minute thing I have to do...and cross them all off with a sense of pride. That makes me feel like I have achieved something incredible...when in reality all I've done is drink a cup of tea. The bigger tasks can be broken down into smaller tasks that you can check. For instance, taking a shower can be broken down into: remove clothes, put on chair, prepare shampoo and conditioner, turn knob, wiggle your bum, walk into the shower, put in shampoo...and the list goes on and on and on

Sit pensively, gaping at Mike Posner's head

When you have no job...your main goal is to feel. You want to feel validated on your road to nowhere. The boredom and loneliness of your life must be reflected in your song choice. Chose songs like 'Pill in Ibiza' and try to relate to the man with the big head...or stare into space Ben Affleck style contemplating the ruin that is your pathetic jobless life.

Learn how to make the perfect cappuccino, and the perfect apple pie, and the perfect scone...and the perfect batch of bread...and the perfect lasagna...and basically cook yourself into oblivion 

                                 

So your C.V is sitting on your desktop and you have no idea how to make having dropped out of university look like an employable trait...why not just throw the towel in and bake a cake instead? The C.V and your life can wait. Who needs to know all about edumasmation and Curriculm Shimetes... One must learn how to back the perfect batch of banana bread in order to avoid lashings from her critical future husband (since getting a job for yourself is clearly scratched off life's to do list)

Spend all your spare time with your mom cuz you're too scared to show your jobless face to your friends 

                                       


Here's praying you have a cool mom...cuz this step involves spending an ungodly amount of time with her. Ring her every day just to say hey...tell her about all the cakes you baked that day...or about how you made your bed...and isn't she proud? Keep calling her until eventually she has to tell you to 'get friends and stop annoying me you stalker!'

Start a blog ranting about how cool and eventful your life is, even though that couldn't be further from the truth.

                                              
Talk about every small gritty details in your blog...which not only encompasses the very little you did...but your entire thought process while undertaking that specific task. Your stalkers will love this. #thumbsupforstalking

Visit Sweden...and meet a sociopathic Russian man who could very well be a murderer while couchsurfing

                                            

Like I did...good luck with that one!

Try to sing along to Sean Paul...and inevitably fail

        

What's an unemployed girl to do...but try and sing along with Sean-a Paul...
So give it a go...
bidibang bidibang

OMG I LOOOOOOOOVEEEEEE

This is by far the coolest person to come out of Europe!

Dealing with loss

This is a post about dealing with the grief associated with loss...be it grieving a relationship, a job or occupation, a certain aspect of yourself, you could be grieving the person someone was (for example I am grieving my grand father who suffers with dementia), or of course this could apply to (god forbid) the passing of a relative or friend.

These are some things I thought would prove as a guide to those undertaking this painful and emotional journey. 

Be sensitive to those you chose as a support system

As Atticus said to Scout 'You never really understand a person until you consider things from their point of view...until you climb in to his skin and walk around in it'

I think one of the first things people do when they loose someone or thing is to frantically try and fill the void. They need someone or thing to help ease the pain. However, it is important to realise that using others as a mere resource...is risky business, because resources run out. Practising empathy would be a good place to start when looking for help. When I say empathy, I mean empathy towards those you are using as a crutch. As Atticus explains to Scout in the novel 'To Kill a Mockingbird':

'You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...until you climb in his skin and walk around in it'

You can't assume a certain person can take the brunt of your emotions (which are understandably frayed) no matter how strong and 'pulled together' they may seem. So, instead of reaching out and grabbing the first available person who is willing to help you, consider their emotional state...and cultivate a real and meaningful connection with them...before you consider them as an aid to dealing with your loss. One must remember that others may have problems and worries that they need to deal with too. I think the best person to turn to in a time of need would be some one you are close to and are in touch with regularly. This way, you can assess that person's needs as well as your own, thus to ensure you are definitely not draining their energy while attempting to aid your own emotional needs. That way, that person can be there for you longer...while maintaining their own mental health. According www.communicatingwithpatients.com 

empathy involves trying to understand what another person is experiencing. However, sympathy is defined as "sameness of feeling; affinity between persons or of one person for another." The key word is "sameness."

Empathy and sympathy are not interchangeable...you don't have to feel the same as someone to empathise...you simply have to make an effort to understand what the other person's needs are as well as your own. The person you are leaning on could have other stresses to contend with and may not be able to handle much of yours. So be vigilant and patient with those you want help from. Never expect support, and if you seek it, do so with someone who you have a good relationship with and who trusts you, and visa versa. This way, you will both get the most out of the interaction as it won't be a one sided selfish ordeal. You will also have a friend to lean on...as supposed to draining the energy of someone you irritate. There is no sense in that, and chances are sooner or later...they will let you know....and no one likes a fall out.

Consider reconnecting with family members you haven't seen in a while or dropping in to your neighbours...who are always but a knock away. Just please, don't turn to Facebook in times of need, especially if you are going to strike up an entirely parasitic relationship with an unassuming victim. Take care of your own feelings, by being vigilant of the feelings of others.

Keep the faith

If you are a religious person I think you are at a direct advantage when it comes to dealing with grief. I have personally found myself in completely dire situations in the past...and the simple knowing that I deserve better and have done too much good in the word to deserve this crap gives me strength. Now I am by no means religious, but I definitely believe in karma. If you are a good person, and your intentions are pure...trust life to take care of itself. If you believe in God, take the opportunity to say a prayer every evening before bed, perhaps. The point is that losing a part of who you are (be it a job or a friend) makes one feel lost and as if they have lost their purpose. For example, losing a job ( I know how that feels!) can make one feel lost...as if they are walking around all day without any satisfaction being derived from it. Keeping the faith of something bigger than yourself, is sure to give you comfort in these trying times. 

Keep active

The more active you are, the more likely you are to sweat off that stress. Make a point of going to the gym, cycling (you can rent a DCC bike now for 20 quid a year), going for a evening jog, or...just...have more sex (if you want to burn the same amount of calories of a very small meringue in one sex workout session, that is). The point is the more you exorcise, the better you'll feel...inside and out. It's been proven that regular exercise reduces your chances of obesity, of course. However, it also reduces anxiety and stress levels. So get off your computer...and go for a run!!!

Talk it out with a professional...or...anyone

Sometimes when we are in the throws of grief it is very hard to see things objectively. This is where an outside opinion can be of great help. Simply by talking to a stranger about things that are bothering you can give a fresh and illuminating perspective. Sometimes just saying yes to the first person offered can be a great aid, because all you are looking for is someone to look at your situation with fresh eyes. Trying to hone that person to suit your personality can be un-beneficial in so far as that you are narrowing down the chances of this person being an utterly random councillor. How about trying to talk to a totally random stranger on the bus about your problems (in a respectful way)? They can offer you an objective insight in to possible delusions or unhealthy thought patterns you may have. 

Sending you love and blessings