OMG I LOOOOOOOOVEEEEEE

This is by far the coolest person to come out of Europe!

Dealing with loss

This is a post about dealing with the grief associated with loss...be it grieving a relationship, a job or occupation, a certain aspect of yourself, you could be grieving the person someone was (for example I am grieving my grand father who suffers with dementia), or of course this could apply to (god forbid) the passing of a relative or friend.

These are some things I thought would prove as a guide to those undertaking this painful and emotional journey. 

Be sensitive to those you chose as a support system

As Atticus said to Scout 'You never really understand a person until you consider things from their point of view...until you climb in to his skin and walk around in it'

I think one of the first things people do when they loose someone or thing is to frantically try and fill the void. They need someone or thing to help ease the pain. However, it is important to realise that using others as a mere resource...is risky business, because resources run out. Practising empathy would be a good place to start when looking for help. When I say empathy, I mean empathy towards those you are using as a crutch. As Atticus explains to Scout in the novel 'To Kill a Mockingbird':

'You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...until you climb in his skin and walk around in it'

You can't assume a certain person can take the brunt of your emotions (which are understandably frayed) no matter how strong and 'pulled together' they may seem. So, instead of reaching out and grabbing the first available person who is willing to help you, consider their emotional state...and cultivate a real and meaningful connection with them...before you consider them as an aid to dealing with your loss. One must remember that others may have problems and worries that they need to deal with too. I think the best person to turn to in a time of need would be some one you are close to and are in touch with regularly. This way, you can assess that person's needs as well as your own, thus to ensure you are definitely not draining their energy while attempting to aid your own emotional needs. That way, that person can be there for you longer...while maintaining their own mental health. According www.communicatingwithpatients.com 

empathy involves trying to understand what another person is experiencing. However, sympathy is defined as "sameness of feeling; affinity between persons or of one person for another." The key word is "sameness."

Empathy and sympathy are not interchangeable...you don't have to feel the same as someone to empathise...you simply have to make an effort to understand what the other person's needs are as well as your own. The person you are leaning on could have other stresses to contend with and may not be able to handle much of yours. So be vigilant and patient with those you want help from. Never expect support, and if you seek it, do so with someone who you have a good relationship with and who trusts you, and visa versa. This way, you will both get the most out of the interaction as it won't be a one sided selfish ordeal. You will also have a friend to lean on...as supposed to draining the energy of someone you irritate. There is no sense in that, and chances are sooner or later...they will let you know....and no one likes a fall out.

Consider reconnecting with family members you haven't seen in a while or dropping in to your neighbours...who are always but a knock away. Just please, don't turn to Facebook in times of need, especially if you are going to strike up an entirely parasitic relationship with an unassuming victim. Take care of your own feelings, by being vigilant of the feelings of others.

Keep the faith

If you are a religious person I think you are at a direct advantage when it comes to dealing with grief. I have personally found myself in completely dire situations in the past...and the simple knowing that I deserve better and have done too much good in the word to deserve this crap gives me strength. Now I am by no means religious, but I definitely believe in karma. If you are a good person, and your intentions are pure...trust life to take care of itself. If you believe in God, take the opportunity to say a prayer every evening before bed, perhaps. The point is that losing a part of who you are (be it a job or a friend) makes one feel lost and as if they have lost their purpose. For example, losing a job ( I know how that feels!) can make one feel lost...as if they are walking around all day without any satisfaction being derived from it. Keeping the faith of something bigger than yourself, is sure to give you comfort in these trying times. 

Keep active

The more active you are, the more likely you are to sweat off that stress. Make a point of going to the gym, cycling (you can rent a DCC bike now for 20 quid a year), going for a evening jog, or...just...have more sex (if you want to burn the same amount of calories of a very small meringue in one sex workout session, that is). The point is the more you exorcise, the better you'll feel...inside and out. It's been proven that regular exercise reduces your chances of obesity, of course. However, it also reduces anxiety and stress levels. So get off your computer...and go for a run!!!

Talk it out with a professional...or...anyone

Sometimes when we are in the throws of grief it is very hard to see things objectively. This is where an outside opinion can be of great help. Simply by talking to a stranger about things that are bothering you can give a fresh and illuminating perspective. Sometimes just saying yes to the first person offered can be a great aid, because all you are looking for is someone to look at your situation with fresh eyes. Trying to hone that person to suit your personality can be un-beneficial in so far as that you are narrowing down the chances of this person being an utterly random councillor. How about trying to talk to a totally random stranger on the bus about your problems (in a respectful way)? They can offer you an objective insight in to possible delusions or unhealthy thought patterns you may have. 

Sending you love and blessings

it's that time again...Current music videos and my summarised opinion of them vol III YAAAAAAAY XD

Coldplay - Adventure of a lifetime

That's racist.

Justin Bieber - What do you mean?

This is one big fat long Calvin Klein ad.

Fifth Harmony - Worth it

NO YOU'RE NOT!

Rihanna ft. Drake - Work

She's so intoxicated that it just turns into an incomprehensible slur coming to the end of the word 'work'

Adele - Hello

The wind in the trees, the pot of boiled tea...and then Adele's ugly mug...when is she gonna realise it doesn't matter how much weight she loses...it's the shape of her face that's the problem.

Coldplay - Hymn for the weekend

Just when you think the music industry can't appropriate India any more...Coldplay found Harrie Krishna in a Mumbai slum.

Drake - Hotline Bling

Dat Egyptian owl doe.

Sigala - Sweet Lovin'

To the girl who has body like elastawoman...NEVER do that again.

One Direction - History

Harry Styles is like the epitome of an English boy...and Niall is like a total leprechaun in comparison 

Fleur East - Sax

I think I speak for all of us when I say that is VERY fucking colourful...and my eyes are bleeding purple.

Justin Bieber - Sorry

Between the internet and the music channel I think I've seen this video 1 billion times...and each time I think 'if only she'd aligned that pony tail'...too late now.

How Well Do You Pay Attention?

Coldplay's use of cultural appropriation in new video

Coldplay-Hymn for the weekend

Firstly, let’s draw a distinct line in the sand between cultural appropriation and cultural appreciation.

The basic definition of cultural appropriation (according to google) reads:

Cultural appropriation is the adoption or use of elements of one culture by members of a different culture.

This definition is very limited, of course, and proves to be futile while trying to disseminate why a music video uses cultural appropriation. According to Swanpinions cultural appropriation is a very complex topic, and it can be seen as negative because:

It can cause people to see the other culture as “strange” and “exotic”, because, they only see the other culture through the eyes of the people from their own culture. This usually happens when a very powerful culture takes things from a less powerful culture, and stereotypes them or creates their own idea about them, that erases people’s idea of the original culture.

Another way of putting it is that cultural appropriation is a power dynamic. A dominant culture is basically taking elements from a culture they have systematically oppressed.

On the opposite side of the spectrum is cultural appreciation...where one becomes an onlooker of a certain culture. Like watching a movie or play...you sit, you admire, and you awe at its wonder, and if asked, you part take in some of its traditions in a respectful manner, and with no hidden agendas.

I believe Chris Martin throws himself in to India in a very egocentric manner. He is basically forcing himself on the country and all its customs and cultures, while imposing himself and his music as the vessel through which we should see its beauty.

Bear in mind that Coldplay are a very popular English band, and that their view of India is what is going to seep in to the mainstream, infiltrating the lives of all his avid followers. At this point, this three minute video stands at 72 million views.

Bearing all that in mind I'll elaborate...

How are Coldplay insulting India through Cultural Appropriation?

• India is being portrayed as a third world country. One can clearly see the young 'slum kids' back flipping into a muddy canal, a group of children watching a Bollywood movie being projected on the side of a boat, and some kids from India wearing what I can only assume are donations from Oxfam...dancing around like hip hop stars? Is it really the west embracing India? Or is it us patronizing them and trying to impose our 'more established' culture on them by making them watch Bollywood movies featuring Beyoncé, and encouraging them to dance to Coldplay's new song...in order to civilize the filthy beggars?

Indians respond to Coldplay's Hymn for the weekend

• Beyoncé is the only character in the Bollywood movie. Why is Bey playing the part of a Bollywood actress, dressed from head to toe in some kind of cheap imitation of a sari? Clearly, the implication is that Americans can represent Bollywood better than any real Bollywood actress ever could. Her inclusion implies that not only is she the most successful performer in the american pop industry, but she can also out-do any Bollywood actress.

• This video mocks India by suggesting that India is a non stop festival. 'Hymn for the Weekend' perpetuates the 'poor hippy' Indian stereotype. If this video is in any way representative, tourists will expect a holi festival to be initiated in their honor, kids dressed up as Krishna, and a bunch of yogis at every street corner. One disgruntled viewer took to twitter saying 'No thanks for the bundle of stereotypes @Coldplay'.

• The words and the video sync together in such a way that makes Martin look like a stupid, drunk tourist. 'Oh angels sent from up above...you know you make my world light up' he chants. Are you referring to yourself or the Indian people here, Chris? Because it seems to me like you have come to India to be seen as some sort of God...and intend on forcing all these 'slum kids' to worship and adore you? 'When I was down when I was hurt...you came to lift me up...' he sings these lines while sitting atop a dilapidated rooftop. This can be taken to mean that Martin is here to 'lift' third world India up out of poverty.

To summarize, I think there is a real sense of this English band taking pity on these slum kids, and trying to give them a boost by making them look 'cool' by western standards. I wouldn't over think this video. It's one to watch once, even simply for the sheer beauty...but watching it on replay would be an insult to my intelligence, I think.

Further evidence that racism boils down to nothing more than stupidity

The members of the KKK are all a bunch of pock marked stuttering hillbillies who don't know what they are doing. Also, the current KKK as we see it today is nothing more than a terrorist deviation from something which was totally innocent....akin to terrorist groups such as ISIS misrepresenting Islam. Their opposition smoke "courage spliffs''...so they are basically just a bunch of stoners...so in case you think the opposition are any more justified...they are not. The KKK outfit represents nothing more than a ghost...half of them probably aren't even aware of this...it represents scaring 'black' people away...because they look like bleeping ghosts...and so the stupidity mounts. These people hold no belief in coincidence. They firmly believe that the downfall of the economy is directly linked to Barack Obama...because he is black. Even watching this program with the dramatic music and artistic shots is giving this bunch of back crack scratching hillbillies more credit than they deserve. They are acting out of fear...it is quite obvious that they are terrified of people of African decent.

At the end of the day the only thing the KKK have no argument more complex than:

                                        what's up with hicks and their fucking jobs??? 

I refuse to spend any more time watching documentaries on these pricks.
As the presenter put it everything they are doing is just "out right disrespectful"

They said it themselves...the election of Obama has actually made the clan stronger. Somewhere in those empty skulls of theirs they must not have seen the irony of it all. In making themselves more vocal and 'stronger'...they are making their opposition 'more vocal' and stronger. So, in a twisted way they are actually playing a significant part in reducing  racism. You can clearly see the locals all staring at them with crossed arms and quizzical faces. No one is joining them and chanting along. They are clearly representing how stupid racism really is and looks. In fact those people probably go home and try to figure out ways to completely oppose these blaring bigots. One member even went to so far as to say he joined the Klu Klux Klan...because he couldn't find a solicitor that dealt with 'white rights'...all he found was the Klu Klux Klan. It's like "My wife got fired because anti white racism...but I can't find a white rights solicitor...so I'll just join a massive fascist organisation instead". They are a bunch of idiots what more can I say?

I love this on so many levels

Firstly, the acting is beautiful on Culkin's part..that has to be mentioned.

However, it is also a perfect illustration of how life just 'goes on'

Just because you lose touch with someone, be they a celebrity, or indeed a friend...doesn't mean they leave the universe. They are still there somewhere...probably having a mental break down. This is probably most likely the case if you haven't heard from them.

We are all just human trying to figure out this weird and wonderful thing called 'life'