hillarious songs from my teenagehood....ahhh memories

Sisqo - the thing song

Shaggy - it wasn't me

Afroman- because I got high

Outkast - Hey ya

The bloodhound gang 

Offspring - fly for a white guy

Traceys mom

Tenacious D - tribute

Current music videos and my thoughts on them summarised in a sentence: Take 4

WARNING: Music has turned into an auto-tuned toilet, if you are not ready for some real and raw opinions, do not read my summarised opinions. Peace, love, and bananas.

Luis Fonsi - Despacito

This song connects us all to our Celtic roots, and we all feel Spanish when we passionately lip sink along with Fonsi and yer one.

Taylor Swift - Look What You Made Me Do

That girl got her period about three years ago, and the flow has not ended since.

DJ Khaled - Wild Thoughts ft. Rihanna

That guitar solo grinds though my ear drums like fingernails on a chalk board...also, why is Rihanna hanging out with that ugly fat man?

Jonas Blue - Mama FT. William Singe

He's not black...he's native Australian...IKR?

Demi Lovato - Sorry not sorry

Demi has taken the approach of screaming into a microphone here, and wearing what appears to be long purple stockings with heels...you do you, Demi.

A bit more happy news

Forget about all those happy stories on the news at 10...this octopus just fucking ATE the world's most venomous fish! Somebody give that octopus a medal! 

Happy News (Part 1)

Hello and welcome to my first blog post dedicated entirely to happy news! What with so much media attention being given to wars and terror attacks...one could easily conclude that this world is an awful foreboding place, and that humanity as we know it is doomed. At least, according to my news feed, that is exactly what this world we live in has been reduced to. I am here to offer you a small respite from all that...and share a little bit of the latest joyful news.

You can now buy a large house in Ireland for 10,000 euro

                                      

Yes, Republic of telly may have been slightly sarcastic when one man claimed he bought a house that was previously 1.5 million, for 875 euro. However, this three bedroom house, located in Kilrush Co. Clare, is solid proof that houses are going dirt cheap these days. It seems that moving down the country means that you can potentially pay for a house if you scrap your communion money, and that dough you made from mowing Mr. Old man's lawn together.

Britney Spears is finally happy again

I was born to make myself happy

Dye remember when Britney shaved off her entire head of hair in the middle of the night, only to considerably worsen the situation by beating a car up with her massive green umbrella? Unfortunate as it is that Britney's total mental breakdown shall forever be there for all and sundry to see, Britney has managed to somehow cobble her life back together again. Now, I'm not usually one to give two shits about rich celebrities...but let's face it, if Britney can reclaim herself after all that utter mortification...we all can. According to close sources she is once again a '...happy, smiling, fun-loving Britney'. Hooray for happy millionaires! Read the entire article here.

The Chillies are coming to Dublin

Otherside, Under the Bridge, Californication...need I go on? Doesn't it just remind us naughties teens of a more carefree time? Ahhhh the good old days when an auto tuned toilet didn't replace actual music. They will be coming to Dublin in December, and I may be 28 at that stage, but better late than never to get your tits out and become a pot bellied, saggy bummed groupie (I may bring my mother along). On the off chance that I don't manage to snog Anthony (or scare him away as I hurtle in his direction, bare swingers hitting my shoulders) I shall at the very least purchase a ticket...and forget all my woes, as I get my boogie on. I suggest you join me.

A kid who suffers with autism is credited for more than his exam results

                                                

It seems that the forces that be, are finally appreciating that there is more to intelligence than passing an exam. After Ben Twist, who suffers with autism, didn't get the exam results he was hoping for, his teacher wrote him a heartfelt letter expressing how he is intelligent in many more ways, and that his exam results are no measure of his intelligence...and that he has many more talents that cannot be measured by taking an exam.



If happy news is something you can get on board with, check out: http://www.sunnyskyz.com/good-news

My Poetry Part 1:

Temporary Fixes

Happy stories

Fables

Tales

Music

Sex

Love

Your phone

Cleaning

Cleanliness

Kissing

Hugs

Bonding

Oxytocin

Suicidal Thoughts

Manipulation

Information

Travel

Slaughter

Tears

Tattoos

Drugs

Poetry

Vandalism

Alcohol

Sleeping

Exercise

Friends

God

Faith

Spirituality

Confrontation

Yoga

Friends

Family

Resistence

The Cold Shoulder

Rationalisation

Complacency

Hope

Interior Decor

Reading

Happy Stories

Reading Sad Stories

'The Secret'

Relationships.

I won't tell you my problems

As that would be removing Daft Punk's helmets
Or cutting Sia's fringe.



.

Greed is all I have left.



Life is no fun

Without mystery.






categorized life

Dressmaking class
nutribullet
fedoras
prada
Gucci
vivienne westwood
makeup
mac
eyeshadows
shoes
botox
facials
clean the toilet
clean the sink
wax your gee
boobs job
vacation
vacay
vacation
hollier
lol 
roflol
 bae
omfg
oust 'removes odors'
lol 
funny 
hilarious
pictures
my job
my life
Beyonce speaks to me
Lemonade
black people
music
salt and pepper
art
Poetry
Spoken Word
#Family
Pride
Tiny Tempah
Mind games
The Lion King
Planking
Suicide
oust 'removes odors'
Drawing
art
creativity
shit.
total shit
I think I'm gay
I'm a gaylord
Stupid retard
SEX
SEX
SEX
hahahahahahahaha
distraction
he loves me
he loves me not
The Russians
Pretentious shit
It's all funny

Turn on the telly...

......Daniel's singing....

Things to do when you don't have a job

This is a topic I am more than knowledgeable in, so I think a  pre-emptive 'you're welcome' is in order

Start folding paper

                                   

That's right...start doing a lot of origami. Start off with a crane...and when your boredom has overwhelmed you that much...it's time to undertake the challenge of building a 4ft 3D origami dragon. You can doooo iiiit!

Write down everything you have to do and check it all off as you go along

                                     

One thing I like to do when I wake up and the stark realisation that I have nothing to do all day hits me...is over plan every aspect of my life. I will write out every minute thing I have to do...and cross them all off with a sense of pride. That makes me feel like I have achieved something incredible...when in reality all I've done is drink a cup of tea. The bigger tasks can be broken down into smaller tasks that you can check. For instance, taking a shower can be broken down into: remove clothes, put on chair, prepare shampoo and conditioner, turn knob, wiggle your bum, walk into the shower, put in shampoo...and the list goes on and on and on

Sit pensively, gaping at Mike Posner's head

When you have no job...your main goal is to feel. You want to feel validated on your road to nowhere. The boredom and loneliness of your life must be reflected in your song choice. Chose songs like 'Pill in Ibiza' and try to relate to the man with the big head...or stare into space Ben Affleck style contemplating the ruin that is your pathetic jobless life.

Learn how to make the perfect cappuccino, and the perfect apple pie, and the perfect scone...and the perfect batch of bread...and the perfect lasagna...and basically cook yourself into oblivion 

                                 

So your C.V is sitting on your desktop and you have no idea how to make having dropped out of university look like an employable trait...why not just throw the towel in and bake a cake instead? The C.V and your life can wait. Who needs to know all about edumasmation and Curriculm Shimetes... One must learn how to back the perfect batch of banana bread in order to avoid lashings from her critical future husband (since getting a job for yourself is clearly scratched off life's to do list)

Spend all your spare time with your mom cuz you're too scared to show your jobless face to your friends 

                                       


Here's praying you have a cool mom...cuz this step involves spending an ungodly amount of time with her. Ring her every day just to say hey...tell her about all the cakes you baked that day...or about how you made your bed...and isn't she proud? Keep calling her until eventually she has to tell you to 'get friends and stop annoying me you stalker!'

Start a blog ranting about how cool and eventful your life is, even though that couldn't be further from the truth.

                                              
Talk about every small gritty details in your blog...which not only encompasses the very little you did...but your entire thought process while undertaking that specific task. Your stalkers will love this. #thumbsupforstalking

Visit Sweden...and meet a sociopathic Russian man who could very well be a murderer while couchsurfing

                                            

Like I did...good luck with that one!

Try to sing along to Sean Paul...and inevitably fail

        

What's an unemployed girl to do...but try and sing along with Sean-a Paul...
So give it a go...
bidibang bidibang